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Post by Johnny Yen on Sept 24, 2008 13:56:37 GMT -5
I do however, quite like Lauren Laverne.
And I find her quirkily attractive.
Minnie Driver on the other hand, has a head the shape of a 50 pence piece. As does Sophie Ellis Bextor.
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Post by lisa on Sept 24, 2008 15:34:14 GMT -5
Would you like to buy a carrier bag for that? I facking HATE that. The whole idea is to 'charge' people for carrier bags, not to 'sell' them. Could always invest the 10p or whatever in the carrier bag then use it to smother them? I have more, generally travel-related ones after a day's round-trip to Dublin: In a similar vein to the 'getting your ticket out in front of the barrier' at train stations, I give you 'waiting til you get to security before finding your passport, thus making me walk into you' Wanting to buy a drink during the flight then making the sleeping lady girl (me) next to you wake up and get up so you can get your wallet out from the overhead thingum. Renegade bus drivers Not understanding currency. Does it really matter how much that sandwich is in pounds compared to euros? If so, can we work it out while not in the queue please? Smug fucking duty-free people telling you you cant buy cheap fags Children who are not tethered to their parents whilst in departures Shouting 'this is the final call for flight whatever to Paris' when it clearly isnt, because you've said that loudly 24 times and no doubt will do it again.
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Post by lisa on Sept 24, 2008 16:25:18 GMT -5
Add to the above:
Getting home from 15 hours at work/travelling to discover a full, stinking litter tray. Slightly urgh but "at least he's used it".
Then to see your cat appear at the door, slowly click that something's not right here and then watch in amazement as next door's cat trots down the stairs. Hmmm.
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Post by goldmother on Sept 24, 2008 17:03:59 GMT -5
See, I hate people who complain about carrier bags.
The human race evolved with things called hands - they have excellent grabby things on the end of them. These grabby things (fingers for the technically minded of you) are, you could say, intelligently designed solutions for carrying things.
Do you need a carrier bag for that sandwich? Is it that mortifying walking down the street holding said sandwich, that you need to hide it in a bag? Likewise if you're that worried about people seeing that you've bought Hot Wives/ Naked Strumpets etc* stick your bloody mag in your bag or rucksack or something.
Next time I see some fuckwit at the supermarket packing a zillion plastic bags with 2 items in each, I may well use one of their excessive bags to smother them. Be warned!
Excessive consumption - good in the case of drugs and alcohol, bad in the case of everything else.
*Note, I am not suggesting that any readers of this esteemed messageboard necessarily buy these magazines or similar such items.
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Post by goldmother on Sept 24, 2008 18:08:52 GMT -5
Children who are not tethered to their parents whilst in departures And I hate people who don't think things through ;D Obviously some children are the spawn of satan. Obviously mine are not, so I can only speak from personal experience. Having done a few long haul trips with kids I can point out the following: Tethering the kids in departures means they are evil and tetchy once cooped up in the tiny confines of an aeroplane. This means your nap will be disturbed by the blighters getting pissed off and probably screaming in your ear. So being a considerate soul I keep them untethered ;D
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Post by lisa on Sept 25, 2008 0:29:56 GMT -5
I hate people that jump the gun 1. I am not disagreeing with your point about carrier bags: I disagree with people 'selling them'. If I ask for one, by all means charge me. But dont ask me if I'd like a bag for 10p - I am capable of using the grabby things at the end of my arms . 2. There are two options regarding wild kids on planes. a) Drug them b)wait until they come shouting next to the sleepy lady then watch as they come running back to mum saying that the bad lady said bad words to them. ;D And for the record, Aer Babyliss Arann 'planes' have no room for children to run. Or people to move.
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Post by goldmother on Sept 25, 2008 4:03:42 GMT -5
Heh, I have a strategy for the actually on the plane part... Only catch overnight long haul flights - the kids are knackered by the time they've queued up for 3 hours to go through security. 20 minutes before take off drug 'em, it's the only way... This has brought up a whole smorgasbord of travel fueled venom: Bolshy air crew - yes I know the seat belt light is on, but my child has been asleep for 6 hours and has just woken up desperate for the loo. Either you let them go, or they piss all over the seat and floor and you have to clear it up... Booking one of those crib things and then finding out once on the plane you haven't got one. Trying to eat/sleep/not get DVT on a long haul with sleeping baby in your arms for 8 hours because the airline has fucked up the crib allotment. Alitalia - Thank fuck they've gone bankrupt, worst airline in the world. Fog at Milan Malpensa - the bane of all transits on the worlds worst airline. Air traffic controller strikes at Milan Malpensa - if the fog didn't screw your journey on the way out, the air traffic controllers will on the way back. Transits in any gulf state airport. I do not want to buy gold. I do not want to smoke in a putrid glass box, and be frowned at by Arab guys. Funnily enough I don't actually want to be here. Kids freebies - thankyou Virgin Atlantic, I'm already carrying two children, their carry on bags and my carry on bag. I do not need extra branded rucksacks and baseball caps. Security at Heathrow - welcome to Dante-land. Heathrow Terminal 3 - Once upon a time I used to fly into Delhi or Mumbai and think it looked shockingly incapable of functioning as an airport. Now I leave the shiny glass and ordered airports of India, fly back into Heathrow and get confused as to whether I've come back to a third world country. The toilets on Indian trains. Once seen you will never complain about a toilet ever again. Not having any money to travel at the moment, and so not being able to complain about any of the above.
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Post by oneofthethree on Sept 25, 2008 6:31:01 GMT -5
Ryanair is the world's worst airline
Bucharest Banasea and London Stansted are the world's worst airports
London Stansted customs and security are far worse than Heathrow
People who think the liquids rule doesn't apply just to them and argue about it should be shot on sight.
Security people who keep boxes hidden so you can't put your stuff into them until you get to them thus delaying everyone should be punched
People with children should have to take separate flights.
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Post by chris815 on Sept 25, 2008 8:04:05 GMT -5
Ryanair is the world's worst airline Fully agree after coming back from Italy a couple of months ago!
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Post by lisa on Sept 25, 2008 9:40:02 GMT -5
Hmm, not sure I've had the pleasure of Ryanair. Spanair was my worst experience.
Alitalia - flew to Rome and back with them a few years ago, from memory the outbound journey was fine. Return, not so much. Having spent our last night on the piss, getting in at 4am and leaving the hotel for the return flight at, er, 4.30am, I decided I would sleep on the flight.
This gypo frigging air stewardess woke me up asking "would you like tea or coffee or would you like to continue sleeping". I could have battered her.
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Post by Lester Piggott on Sept 25, 2008 10:32:43 GMT -5
I'll see your Span/Ryanair and raise you a Phuket Airlines! Coming back from Thailand a few years back and to cut a long story short all of their aircraft got grounded when we were in mid air and refused entry back into Europe due to such things as it being discovered that they didn't have the appropriate safety licences for any of their aircraft and that none their pilots had up to date health and saftey certificates!
We landed somewhere in the middle east that I can't even recall and then had to wait 48 hrs in a sweltering hot airport before they could get a plane to bring us home. Phuket Air have never been anywhere near the UK since!!
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Post by oneofthethree on Sept 25, 2008 22:07:26 GMT -5
Ryancuntingair. Fucking inbred useless pieces of shit. I hope that Leary twat catches something vile and rots away slowly then I can kick his face so far in that it'll come out of his arse and he'll have to pay priority boarding for it.
We were due to fly back from Gothenburg City tonight. Flight out of London was delayed 35 minutes due to the traffic control issue. Were we told? No. Then there's silence, no change in time, until 10.20, an hour after we were due to take off when we suddenly get the message the flight was cancelled. The inbound flight had been diverted to the other Gothenburg airport and they left everyone stranded. There were no spaces at all on Friday's flights so basically people were stuck there.
We're fortunate enough to have corporate plastic so we tried to get a hotel but Gothenburg's full with an expo so we decided to get a car and drive to Copenhagen, three hours away, and get an Easyjet flight at 10am. Means we have to stay up all night and sit around an airport for hours, but more than half the flight won't be so lucky. Nowhere to stay at a reasonable price (a cab into the city is 30 notes and there's no buses) and little chance of a flight home today.
I hope oil prices go up so much the cunts go out of business. And they are cunts. They blatantly lie (best on-time record because they add half an hour to the flight time everyone else reports), don't give a shit and they're run by an odious little twat who thinks he's witty. If it wasn't for the fact innocent people would die, I'd wish all their planes fall out of the sky.
Rant over.
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Post by lisa on Sept 26, 2008 0:26:53 GMT -5
That's good ranting. The word 'odious' isnt used enough.
I really hate the Kaiser Chiefs. They get shitter by the record.
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Post by oneofthethree on Sept 26, 2008 0:44:19 GMT -5
Let's hope the Kaiser Cunts do a tie up with Ryanair and on the maiden flight, Osama takes the lot out.
I'm going to track down O'Leary and smash his gurning fucking face in.
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Post by stuart on Sept 26, 2008 13:20:03 GMT -5
That's good ranting. The word 'odious' isnt used enough. I really hate the Kaiser Chiefs. They get shitter by the record. Lisa, have you seriously charted how band that band have become? I would have thought one listen to one record of theirs would be enough to ensure that you never listen to them again. I really hate them too.
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